Insecurities

Do you have any insecurities? I wish the answer was ‘No’, but most probably it is ‘Yes’. I do too, infact we all do.

Do you think about them? Again a pointless question, ofcourse you do, that is why they exist. Now take a moment and ponder upon my next question – Have you ever thought about their existence?

Insecurities are interesting. It might be the shape of the nose for one; the color of eyes for another; or perhaps the direction of the kitchen sink in the house; or maybe the way one pronounces a certain letter; even the income or the social status of one. Even more interesting is the business of “tackling” insecurities. The nextdoor aunty’s ordeals with the nextdoor palmistry expert; or the plastic surgeon with a crooked nose; or someone taking a huge unsustainable loan just to build a house larger than their relative’s.

The list goes on, but one thing, the essence remains common. One’s insecurities are never completely one’s own. One’s crooked teeth for example, is a beauty standard in some culture. My insecurity is your business, and your insecurity is my business. So, they aren’t objective facts, rather subjective superimpositions.

So why should we lose our sleep and increase our troubles over something so subjective and superfluous. Yet one fact remain – We all have insecurities!

Here I take your leave by asking you once again – Have you ever thought about their existence?

” क्या ही लेकर आएं हैं, क्या ही लेकर जाएंगे।

एक जीवन है और हज़ार दृष्टिकोण,

इस जीवन के गीत हम गुनगुनाएंगे। “

[ What did we come with, with what shall we leave.

One life with a thousand point of views,

This life’s beautiful songs shall we weave. ]

Aru

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The tagged image is – Xiang Jing’s ‘Are a Hundred Playing You or Only One’ (X+Q SCULPTURE STUDIO)

Mirage

In your deep brown eyes,
behind those long lashes.
There was temptation.
Lost in how you held my hand;
Thought you were salvation.

I was a vase put back together.
You were the sun to forge;
For I couldn’t bear a feather.

Time foregone and
time to come were precious.
But the devil had plans mischievous!

Shattered in a day,
All I planned.
For again, once more
I had to break.
From rock to sand!

– Aru

पंछी ( Bird)

पंछी तेरे दर फिर आया है
कि पंख तोह हैं उसपर
मगर तू उसका साया है

उड़ाया जो खिड़की से अपने हाथ से
पंछी न समझा क्या करे
कि उसका तोह जहान था बस तुझसे

छोड़ बंधन उड़ान भरे
या बैठा रहे तेरी तक में
सोच विचार पंछी करे
आखिर क्या लिखा है हित में

अदभुत दुनिया में घूमकर
पंछी ने मोती भी पाया है
मगर तू उसका साया है
कि पंछी तेरे दर फिर आया है

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Though this poem was originally written in Hindi, and hence is best expressed above, but here is nonetheless an attempt of an English translation. Hope you enjoy 😊

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Birdie has returned once again to your door.
Though she got wings,
but you’re her shadow.

You flew her away from the window pane.
Birdie didn’t know what to do,
For her whole world was you.

To leave the bonds and fly on,
or to sit there and wait.
The birdie then thinks
what’s written in her fate.

Flying around in this beautiful world
Birdie even found pearls.
But you’re her shadow.
Birdie returns once again,
to your door.

– Aru

Little birdie eating rice outside my room’s window

An overthinker’s speculation – Is the chaos inside harmful or creative?

Why is it that mind creates situations? Why do we have this compulsion of overthinking? Wouldn’t life be simple if we just lived in the present?

If the past was a moment which has passed, and future would be a moment not yet defined. The problems, the grief, the uncertain, it is all a creation of our own mind. The caveat is however, that the creator can seldom control the creation.

Here tonight, I do this once again, I speculate, I wander, I think, but not directionless this time I guess. How do we control, or rather, how do we learn to distance ourselves, from us. If only one could have such peace within all the time. If only we could have silence within all the time. I speculate, would it be better or worse? Is this chaos inside harmful or rather creative? If only I knew these answers.

The real question is however, can I be content in accepting the fact that I do not. In the times of turmoil, of uncharted challenges, can i distance myself from the attempt of survival. Can I do what I do in the darkest of hours, and allow myself a neutral spectator, of myself.

Perhaps I can, but must I do. Forgiving oneself is the key that I have discovered, forgive for the time foregone, for the opportunity lost. There is only forward movement in the wheel of time. Inward are all the answers that we seek so impatiently outside. The restlessness we create outside is just an escape from the restlessness inside.

Escape no more. Fear no more. Run no more. Hide no more. Face it. Embrace it. Love it. Live it. And conquer it!

– Aru

Hiraeth

You’re an ocean of love,
Yet sitting alone in despair
Tired of this concrete jungle,
You want a fresh breathe of air.

Boarded a ship of hope,
for the captain to
sail you through.
Oh darling you forgot,
not every dream comes true.

Before you know,
another coast arrives.
He had his time,
Now he bids goodbyes.

Don’t you nag, coz
this is the trend.
No matter you love him 3000
But part of journey is the end!!

– Aru

Mr. Perfect Illusion

You had your doubts & that’s okay,
Took a leap of faith that beautiful day.
He smiled there, you skipped a beat
Holding hands, roaming in streets.
You laughed, you loved and you fought,
And then you prayed forget me not.
Waiting, heart don’t know when to call
Coz it’s beyond, baby he got to your soul.

All the spark just faded away,
But you loved, you got to stay
Doubts, screams, jealousy, did he cheat?
Heart may ache, you’re still sweet.
A week, a month, an year passed
No answers to questions you ever asked.
Still waiting, Heart don’t know when to call
Coz it’s beyond, baby he got to your soul!

– Aru

Ruhaniyat

Mayassar na ho woh, fir bhi gum na ho...
  Uske khayalo me hi basa ki apni khushi hai...
  Bewafai karte hai log iztiraar...
  Par kaise bhala yeh dil ayaash ho...
  Uske naam se hi toh ruhaniyat hai...
  Woh hi toh mere rab ki inaayat hai.

Dilemma (दुविधा)

To do or not to do
the question arises.
A dilemma there is, and
no explanation suffices!

Responsibility put on shoulders
heavier than school bags
Journey it was arduous
From starry skies to rags

The green rags
do buy things
Lost were though
The starry dreams

To drown in desires
or masquerade the reality
the question arises
A dilemma there is, and
No explanation suffices!

Be practical, grow up
we were told
Grew up we did,
With no hands to hold.

A thousand screams
All but aloud
A posse of people
Yet lost in clouds

'You know we can't 
do such things', he says
Demurring, my heart sways
To confess it out
Or to smile and nod

The question arises
A dilemma there is, and
No explanation suffices.
                                  -Aru
	

Life goes on

You laugh, you cry, you have your time 
  Can't bring it back, no amount of dime 
  Cherish it darling before it's all gone 
  Why? Coz life goes on!

Falling in love, making friends 
  New interests, ever changing trends 
  Chase your dreams, you owe it to you 
  Make the life you can grow upon 
  Why? Coz life goes on!

You were a daughter, a son 
  You are a husband, a wife 
  You'll soon be making new life 
  Changing phases, can't hold on 
  Why? Coz life goes on!

Listen to songs, explore new music 
  Get that hobby, start from basic 
  Dance to your tune honey 
  Smile, live the high, improve upon
  Why? Coz life goes on!
                                        - A.S.

Kyun…

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